Release date: 2016-09-20
At two in the morning, the 37-year-old Yang Siming stood on the roof of 4 meters high and slammed his mouth and looked at the southwest. It is the airport economic development zone of Yuncheng, Shanxi Province, which can faintly see the tall buildings under the neon lights. That is the "world in the city" that he yearns for. Yang Siming suffered from depression for 18 years. He dropped out of school and went out of the village several times to work in the city. However, he was imprisoned and returned to the Yellow Land again and again because of illness. "If there is one day, I am sick, I still want to feel the world in the city."
The village where Yang Siming is located is located at the foot of the Zhongtiao Mountain. Relying on the yellow land, the village started a large-scale operation of vegetable greenhouses. The road to the village is bumpy, but many people in the village have entered the hundreds of thousands of years and drive private cars. The picture shows Yang Siming is putting grass curtains on his own vegetable greenhouse, and in the distance is Zhongtiao Mountain.
Yang Siming in the middle school era, the results are stable in the top ten in the class, he thought that one day he could go to live in the city, no longer rely on his father to eat in a few acres of land. Beginning in the second year of high school, there is no reason. He becomes silent. He can say a few words a day. The results have declined again and again. At night, the roommates snorted, and Yang Siming was uncomfortable in the upper bunk. He jumped out of bed and ran to the toilet, and he gasped for a long time. The picture shows Yang Siming is taking care of his own vegetable greenhouse.
After two years of such a day, no one noticed his pain. Everyone only thought that Yang Siming did not like to deal with people more and more. When the third year of school dropout, the class teacher stared at his chest and said, "You are not good to learn this kid." Back in the village, Yang Siming's state is still not improving. "You can get a hoe in the village at a young age, you can do it, others are yelling at you." Yang Siming wants to break away from the peasant's identity. He goes to Yuncheng to work as a cement worker and a bricklayer. "When I got to work, I didn't work hard. I couldn't do it. I couldn't sleep at night, I was going crazy." Finally, he returned to the village because of depression. The picture shows Yang Siming collecting straw curtains on his own vegetable greenhouse.
In the end, he went out of the village and worked again and again, again and again, went home and tossed for 18 years. In the first five years of being tortured, Yang Siming always thought that he was neurasthenia, accompanied by insomnia and headache. Until 2003, when he was mad, he went to Beijing to hang up an expert number, only to know for the first time that his illness was called depression.
In 2005, Yang Siming married and gave birth to a child in the village and recognized the identity of the peasant. He wants to regard himself as the pillar of his family. He can be hospitalized from time to time. Ten acres of land still depend on his 61-year-old parents. When the depression was severe, Yang Siming felt that he had to be split into two halves. "I can't say the kind of pain, despair, just want to die." The picture shows Yang Siming talking to his wife.
Countless times, he thought of death. He pondered over the house and hanged himself. He often stood on his own roof and wanted to jump, but he was afraid that he could not die and become a disability, dragging his family. "I really want to die 10,000 times." There are parents and children. Yang Siming said that there is only one word left - hehe. A rocking chair on the top of Yang Siming's house. He said that watching the city doing business lying in a rocking chair slept very well, he could not sleep, so he bought it and wanted to sleep on it. It’s ok at first, but it doesn’t work anymore.
Depressed patients, sensitive, suspicious, loved to be horny, have the same complete biochemical process as other diseases, the biggest feature is that they can not live like normal people, suicidal tendencies. According to Jiang Tao, chief physician of the Department of Psychiatry at Beijing Anding Hospital, most people's understanding of depression is superficial. More than 90 million people in the country are currently suffering from depression or depression. At present, the recognition rate of depression in hospitals above the city level is less than 20%. In other words, 80% of patients are misdiagnosed or missed. Among the existing depression patients, less than 3% have received related drugs. treatment.
Yang Siming’s wife hides her face and tears. For so many years, she did not figure out her husband’s illness. She only knew that he was sick after getting married. She just wants to live well. The village was taller than the house, and she borrowed 130,000 yuan to build a new house and a 3 meter high gate. She thought that if she built a new house, her husband’s illness might be fine. As a result, the house was built up and Yang Siming’s illness was not good. She thought again, just have a son. Now, my son was born for 2 years, and the illness is still not good.
For eight years, Yang Siming took a large amount of clonazepam tablets every day. This medicine has the effect of calming and hypnosis. It will be dependent on long-term use, but he did not know it at first. It was not until 2012 that Yuncheng City Central Hospital told him not to take it in large doses, but he could not stop it. Under the heavy burden of life, Yang Siming still needs to spend 600-700 yuan per month. When he went to Taiyuan to see a disease, he spent more than 7,000 pieces. He wants to do psychological counseling. The price of Yuncheng for one hour and 500 yuan makes him only do it once and then does not continue. And the same kind of consultation, Beijing private experts 300-400 yuan an hour, 20 yuan in the scope of medical insurance in Anding hospital only 20 yuan.
Yang Siming sat in his own vegetable greenhouse. What he admires most is that others can play cards smoothly. This is the most common pastime in the village. After getting sick, he obviously felt that his thinking was slow. The villagers called him to fight the landlord and play mahjong. He did not dare to go. Sometimes he forced himself to sit at the table, but the best hand in one hand, he was smashed, and the mouth of the village quickly blurted out: "You have been kicked by your brain!"
Yang Siming used to fill up the motorcycle oil and add enough horsepower. On the asphalt road to Yuncheng, he galloped aimlessly. The wind blew his hair, and for a moment he felt that all the troubles had been taken away.
In Beijing, more than 800 kilometers away from Yuncheng, Shanxi, Shihao, 34, is planning to go to the Anding Hospital. Without the Spring Festival, he has already traveled four times in a week, asking the doctor to reduce the amount of medicine. The side effects of the drug made him both sluggish and slow. Half a year off, he is eager to start working after the holiday, like a normal person. The picture shows Shi Hao watching a movie in his own room.
In the community where Shi Hao lived, no one knew that he had depression. He and his father tried to avoid it. Sometimes, they would bypass the chat between the neighbors. In 2007, Shi Hao, a volunteer in Xiangfan, Hubei, broke up with his girlfriend. Soon after, he sneaked out in the army. The comrades sent him to the hospital and he was found to have manic depression. Parents from Beijing rushed to Hubei Military Hospital to take care of Shi Hao. Two weeks later, the mother died shortly after returning home. After a lapse of one month, when the father went to the hospital to visit Shi Hao again, he told him the news. Until now, he felt that his illness was irritating to his mother.
After returning home, the father asked someone to introduce him to the TV station as a contractor. At first, he was very quiet. Suddenly, because he remembered that he still went out to the door but could not wait for the guard, Shi Hao broke out. The guard called the police. He was sent to the hospital and lost his job. After leaving the hospital, he was looking for a job. In September last year, he went to the hospital with his relatives to see a doctor. The bipolar disorder recurred. He was in the hospital. He married his two mobile phones and confronted the police who arrived. This is the normal state of life. Every once in a while, his condition is repeated, and his father has to go to the police station or hospital to pick him up.
In order to suppress the recurrence of bipolar disorder, he took a lot of drugs to suppress mania. The side effects of the drug made him stiff, slow-moving, and sluggish. Because of overdose, his symptoms were biased toward depression. This is Shi Hao’s one-day medication. He always carries it with him.
Shi Hao showed reporters a WeChat group of "Yu You", which has 499 people.
At a restaurant in Beijing, “Yuyou†are gathering to share their stories or experiences.
On the Beijing Metro Line 4, the “Yu You†dinner ended and Shi Hao took the subway home. Shi Hao feels that he is a burden at home. He misses the past, the boy who graduated from the middle school of Peking University and went to the China Agricultural University. At that time, he participated in mathematics competitions of various sizes and won many awards. He missed the student period, and IQ was 144+.
In the New Year, Shi Hao was forced to marry. The 81-year-old grandmother is expecting her grandson to get married soon. After all, she is in her early 30s. Shi Hao used to spend more than 10,000 yuan to find objects on the dating website. In the half year, I saw more than 30. In most cases, the girl did not look at him. Three years ago, he raised a fold cat and became his closest companion. More often, he will sit alone at home and talk to the cat. For a time, he lay in bed for 20 hours a day, and even if he didn't sleep, he would slowly pass. Every patient with depression is eager to return to normal life, but is often returned to the original shape by outside guesses.
Source: Beijing News
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